November

There are many thoughts in my head this morning. They range from shock and disbelief to sadness, disappointment, and everything in between. It will take me longer than this day to sort them all out, but here is what I know to be true. We have a president that most of the country did not vote for. We have a figure head, that most of us would rather not have representing our country; however, the president does not live in our hearts, or in our homes, the love of God does. We have a unique opportunity in this country to show our friends, family, and neighbors what love is. Show our children what acts of kindness, compassion, charity, and faith can do to change the world around us for the better.

The country is divided, but our hearts should not be. Our families and communities should take this time to band together. Show the world that this may be our president, but this is not who we are. Now is not the time for protest, but it is the time to be a radical. Radical love, radical faith. A fire so strong that the flames and warmth of it can not be denied. Put aside anger, it is useless and only hurts the angry. If we let hate grow within us, who really wins? Anger and disillusionment may have won the election, but Love will always ultimately win. 

Let your  life be your protest. Let your actions show your heart. Be excellent to each other and remember who is really in charge.

It's been a while

Blame it on graduate school and a mom's general state of busyness, but yes it's been nearly two years since my last post. In the coming months I'm going to begin to share with you meaningful information and experiences on health; physical, mental, and spiritual. Take what you want from it, but I thought it might benefit someone other than me to hear it from a Nurse Practitioner who also happens to be a busy wife and mother. How do you make health and well being make sense to a busy family and over stressed parents? Make it simple, make it sensible, inform and empower. Enjoy.

Remember me?

The answer is no, you don't.  Do you know why?  Because I hardly remember myself.  Lately there have been a lot of changes in my life.  I became the full time working parent and I started graduate school.  My little babies are no longer babies and my eldest son is already beginning to need a calendar all his own. These things have forced some changes in my outlook. Yes, I'm stressed. So much change has gone on in the past year that I can hardly remember the person I was just a couple of years ago.

I really don't recall what it was like to not have children.  I can't tell you what it's like to go out for a coffee with friends or to get a pedicure on my day off.   I can hardly remember what it's like to spend an evening alone with my darling husband.

Somewhere in the midst of the chaos I've managed to lose 100lbs. I began to feel the temptation to spend money I don't have on dressing my new self.  That temptation was nearly immediately squashed by the pile of bills on my desk and the cold weather clothing needs of my kids. The woman I am now has no idea what's in style anyway, I only know what I like. If what I like weren't in style, I'd probably wear it anyway. And so I've learned to embrace a new domestic art form.  The yard sale.  It's amazing what you can find when you bother to take the time.

Don't get me wrong, it's not that I don't care about things like looking nice or making my home look beautiful or being part of a great social club. I do care, I just don't care enough to spend my time worrying about if I'm wearing the right shade of lipstick or if I'm on the acceptable side of argument.  I'm much more interested lately in what's important than what's fashionable.

One might think that with all this change I might begin to miss Me.  I don't.  I don't know that girl.  I'm putting this out there because, quite frankly, I don't care to keep trying to please people anymore.

Hold your horses.

 I don't mean to say that I'm about to go all off the deep end and start doing all kinds of crazy stuff, I just mean that I'm tired, I'm broke, I'm emotionally spent.  Trying to keep up appearances is exhausting and expensive and trying to keep up with old friends that only care about those trivial things is equally taxing, and so I'm done.

I've realized lately that while I may not know if dark wash denim is still in or who's in the top 40 there is a lot I do know that you can't get off the rack or learn from a tabloid.  I know the joy of singing my children to sleep and then falling asleep myself while they're still in my arms.  I know how it feels to be unconditionally loved.  I know that everything I have may be gone tomorrow and I've made my peace with that.  I know what it's like to hold the hand of a scared, sick, patient with no family and to be present for the last breath someone takes.  I know that what you have is not nearly as important as who you are and that if you let your "stuff" define you, you're going to be very disappointed.  I know that God loves me even though I'm me.

I'm finally comfortable in my own skin.

I'm the exhausted, hard working, loving, dedicated, goodwill shopping, coupon clipping, minivan driving, alpha-mom.  Keeping up with you is killing me, so I'm done. Take me or leave me, either way, I don't care. Your over-indulgent, selfish, spoiled ways will end you one day.  So thank you very much for all of the advice, I'm sure that you'll look fabulous in this year's Christmas letter. I'm just not interested in your idea of perfection anymore.

Salted Pecan Caramels

This is a delicious adaptation of a walnut based recipe, which I am (of course) allergic to.  They are perfectly melt in your mouth without being gooey and they are not over sweet.  A holiday favorite at my house.

2 cups cream
2/3 cup light corn syrup
2/3 cup honey
1 cup sugar
4 ounces soft unsalted butter
1/2 teaspoon kosher salt
1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
8 ounces pecans, toasted and chopped
1/4 teaspoon sea salt, preferably Maldan

Grease bottom and sides of 9 by 9 inch pan. Line the bottom with
parchment paper. Grease the top of the parchment paper.
Combine cream, corn syrup, honey and sugar in a large pot. Cook
over medium heat, stirring often, to 260°F, about 25 minutes.
Remove from heat. Stir in butter, kosher salt and vanilla. Fold in
walnuts. Pour into the prepared pan. Sprinkle the remaining sea
salt over the caramels. Cool. Run a knife around the inside edge of
the pan and invert on to a cutting board. Cut into 1 inch pieces.
Roll individually in waxed paper.

Wrap in parchment paper. Simply cut parchment rectangles approximately
one inch longer than the caramels, wrap the candy in the center,
and twist the ends.

Recipe adapted from The Holiday Table (holidaytable.net)

Boys will be. . . Well, boys I guess.

. . . and mine are no exception.  In a world that likes to tell us that all kids are the same and that gender neutrality is something to be desired, my boys are a glaring example that God made boys and girls very differently.  Who teaches a 3 yr old to wrestle his 1yr old brother?  Where do they learn this bizare primative behavior?  They don't.  It's born in them.  You see, apparently, boys are just different.
Having grown up in a family with no brothers, I was blissfully unaware of this truth until high school, when the strange and complicated nature of boys truly comes to a head.  At the time, I blamed it on hormones.  I was only partially correct.
Little did I know that my own sweet babies would exibit such odd and wild behavior practically from birth.  Who are these little creatures that feel the need to hit and kick and grab at everything, pound on toys and run (or crawl) furiously toward anything breakable?
My mother, having raised only girls commented quite honestly and truthfully on the subject.  "You've got boys".  That pretty much says it all doesn't it?
I've got boys in my house!  I've got dirt on my carpet, I've got matchbox cars in my VCR. I've got a poor little shi tzu being driven to neurosis by constant torment.  I go through 4 gallons of milk a week!  I have mountains of oddly stained laundry!  Yes, it is becoming painfully and blissfully apparent that I have boys!

The Pioneer Woman

Ok, I have to admit.  This woman is amazing!  If you are not familiar with Ree yet, you need to be and fast.  She's a mom and an amazing cook and homemaker.  She's like Martha Stewart for those of us who have no desire to be Martha Stewart.  She dishes out amazing recipes and ideas on everything from food and photography to homeschooling without a hint of boastfulness or condescension. All of her recipes look amazing and those I've tried do not disappoint.  If her family friendly food doesn't snag you, her honest wit and humor certainly will.
www.thepioneerwoman.com

'The Headless Horseman"

This is one of my favorite halloween traditions. I watch it every year, my kiddos are still too small to appreciate it, but I get a kick out of it still.